The present situation in the Church of England varies between parishes. Conducting marriages after a divorce is a matter of conscience and no one can insist on their marriage being solemnised in the church. The practice is very localised and although a growing number of clergy are prepared to do this, not all are.

Clergy already have the discretion, if they wish, to solemnise second marriages in church. There are guidelines to help those clergy decide when it is and when it is not appropriate to do so.

Experience has shown that

• the decree absolute needs to have been granted at least two years previously to allow sufficient time for the dust to have settled and pains of the previous split to have been healed.
  
• everything to do with the previous marriage, all child care (if appropriate) etc, needs to have been long since settled so that the couple are free emotionally to enter into a new marriage.
  
• the person concerned needs to have worked through whatever may have contributed to the breakdown and the effects of it so that these don’t unwittingly harm the new marriage.
  
• the new relationship should not have been connected with the breakdown of the previous marriage.
  
• the couple should have a sense of the spiritual nature of a Christian marriage service.

There also needs to be a recognition that marriage is not a temporary arrangement and therefore the failure of a previous marriage is something which requires repentance and forgiveness, even if we may feel that 'it was not our fault'. Vows were made and these were not kept, so there is a need to face this in prayer looking for God's grace and healing to lift the burden so that we can walk on into a new life. A short act of putting the past behind will be part of the marriage preparation and this will be something that takes place privately in the church with just the couple and the Vicar present.

We seek to hold together two principles. Firstly that marriage is for life and when entered into it must be intended that "till death us do part" will mean that. Conducting second marriages does not mean that we now believe marriage to be a temporary arrangement. When difficulty strikes, there needs to be commitment to work at it and try to resolve those difficulties. But marriages do fail for a variety of reasons and the church has recognised divorce for a very long time. So the second principle is to do with offering people a new start in the hope that this time it will work.

The decision to marry is always a major one which quite literally affects the rest of our lives, but the charge that "no one should enter into [marriage] lightly or selfishly, but reverently and responsibly" (from Common Worship marriage service) applies equally second time round.

This is a very difficult area of life and touches some of the rawest emotions of people: their pains and their regrets, and the tentacles of it extend well beyond the couple asking to be married. There is no cosy solution. To refuse all cases involves injuring the injured. To accept all cases involves injuring the injured! We are aware that this is an area which requires great sensitivity.

If you are a divorcee and would like to explore Christian marriage please contact the Vicar and he will be happy to discuss this with you further. When you meet with the Vicar he will need to see an original certified copy of the decree absolute (photocopies are not sufficient).

The bishop may need to be consulted to talk through with him whether or not it is in order for the Marriage Service to be conducted in church. It may not, therefore, be possible to give you an answer straight away. That is not necessarily a bad thing, since marriage should never be rushed into, especially where it has not worked once before.

Please note the law only allows us to conduct weddings for people who live in this parish. For more information please look at the pages on the Church of England website.

Revd Ian Black
Vicar

July 2006

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Last updated July 2006